Learning to admit "I can't"
So, I realize I haven't updated my blog in several months. I tried multiple times to write an update and consequently I have several drafts of half-thought-out, half-written posts. It's hard to know where to start, but I guess the best way to summarize March, April, and May is to say I've learned that there are some things I simply can't do.
It's not that I thought I could do everything. I already am well aware that I can't play sports very well haha and I can't play anything difficult on the piano. Simple tunes only.
Instead, I learned that there are things that I am capable of doing but simply cannot do all at the same time. I wanted to write for the school paper, I wanted to work my tail off to pay my bills myself, and I wanted to still keep in touch with all of my friends at the same time.
If you picture a juggler juggling, this is that part when the clown is getting ready to throw in one too many balls that will cause everything to fall to the floor.
I crammed one ill-written article together and sent it to the editor of the school paper and I never got around to writing anything else and he never got around to asking me to do so. haha I would honestly have felt bad if he published that article because I know it's not that great. If I had more time I could definitely refine it into something respectable - but I don't.
I kept in touch with a few people at the expense of time I probably should have spent on homework or sleeping and consequently I didn't do a good job of keeping up with them, I didn't do well on my homework assignments, and I was exhausted from lack of sleep. So I told me friends that I'd have to wait till after the semester to catch up with them. That was a really difficult decision.
I had hoped at the beginning of the semester to phase out of my second job so I would only be working 16 hours a week at my other job. Instead, I kept both jobs and worked about 24-35 hours a week up until the beginning of May. This too cost me some points on my homework and cut into my few opportunities to sleep. I finally said, right before finals, that I simply couldn't do more. I had to keep my hours down in order to pull good grades.
I guess I didn't necessarily drop everything on the floor, but I definitely learned that it is important to recognize when you have to say no, preferably before that one-too-many-balls gets thrown into the mix. One teacher showed me great grace and another didn't but thankfully things evened out okay in the end.
*edit* I feel like an additional summary needs added to this - what my point is, this past semester was difficult in many ways beyond probably any previous semester. I am thankful for the friends who stuck by me despite my poor ability to keep in touch, and I feel it is God's grace that brought me safely from my over zealous yes-ness into a healthy state of honesty. Honestly, sometimes it's okay to say "I can't" and step back from a few commitments. It's good to learn to discern what should be yes'd and what should be no'd. I'm glad to learn this here and now before I enter university and life beyond. God's grace is always sufficient:)
Next up: I've been brewing up a post about aspects of Christianity that I've had to rethink over the last few years - The way God forgives, what He expects as a result, and how that ties into a common understanding of "legalism".
It's not that I thought I could do everything. I already am well aware that I can't play sports very well haha and I can't play anything difficult on the piano. Simple tunes only.
Instead, I learned that there are things that I am capable of doing but simply cannot do all at the same time. I wanted to write for the school paper, I wanted to work my tail off to pay my bills myself, and I wanted to still keep in touch with all of my friends at the same time.
If you picture a juggler juggling, this is that part when the clown is getting ready to throw in one too many balls that will cause everything to fall to the floor.
I crammed one ill-written article together and sent it to the editor of the school paper and I never got around to writing anything else and he never got around to asking me to do so. haha I would honestly have felt bad if he published that article because I know it's not that great. If I had more time I could definitely refine it into something respectable - but I don't.
I kept in touch with a few people at the expense of time I probably should have spent on homework or sleeping and consequently I didn't do a good job of keeping up with them, I didn't do well on my homework assignments, and I was exhausted from lack of sleep. So I told me friends that I'd have to wait till after the semester to catch up with them. That was a really difficult decision.
I had hoped at the beginning of the semester to phase out of my second job so I would only be working 16 hours a week at my other job. Instead, I kept both jobs and worked about 24-35 hours a week up until the beginning of May. This too cost me some points on my homework and cut into my few opportunities to sleep. I finally said, right before finals, that I simply couldn't do more. I had to keep my hours down in order to pull good grades.
I guess I didn't necessarily drop everything on the floor, but I definitely learned that it is important to recognize when you have to say no, preferably before that one-too-many-balls gets thrown into the mix. One teacher showed me great grace and another didn't but thankfully things evened out okay in the end.
*edit* I feel like an additional summary needs added to this - what my point is, this past semester was difficult in many ways beyond probably any previous semester. I am thankful for the friends who stuck by me despite my poor ability to keep in touch, and I feel it is God's grace that brought me safely from my over zealous yes-ness into a healthy state of honesty. Honestly, sometimes it's okay to say "I can't" and step back from a few commitments. It's good to learn to discern what should be yes'd and what should be no'd. I'm glad to learn this here and now before I enter university and life beyond. God's grace is always sufficient:)
Next up: I've been brewing up a post about aspects of Christianity that I've had to rethink over the last few years - The way God forgives, what He expects as a result, and how that ties into a common understanding of "legalism".
For some reason this post reminded me of this passage I'm going over in my memorization project this summer. Just reminds me of how important it is to consider our commitments before we get into them. Obviously, I'm not the greatest example around here. Lol! Anyway, I think you did amazing this sememester! Love you!
ReplyDeleteJames 5:10-12
10 Brothers and sisters, think about the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. They are an example of how to be patient when you suffer. 11 As you know, we think that people who don’t give up are blessed. You have heard that Job was patient. And you have seen what the Lord finally did for him. The Lord is full of tender mercy and loving concern.
12 My brothers and sisters, don’t take an oath when you make a promise. Don’t call on heaven or earth or anything else to back up what you say. Let your “Yes” be yes. And let your “No” be no. If you don’t, you will be judged.
Thanks! Very relevant verses and very important principle :)
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