Season's reasons

Something I love about getting a break from school, and in particular the comforts of time off at home, is the opportunity to reflect and get some clarity on life.
While home in Pennsylvania, in-between catching up with friends and doing fun things all across the county, I found time to think through this last year I've spent in Nebraska. August 16th marks exactly one year since I picked up as many of my belonging as I could fit in my car and moved to Nebraska. A lot has occurred in that time. I've experienced seasons of blessing and seasons of discouragement. Blessings have come in the form of timely provision and encouragement, and discouragement in the form of unmet expectations. However good or bad though, each season comes to pass, they don't come to stay. This is a comforting reminder as the events preceding my time in PA were pretty discouraging. So as I move on from one season to the next, I am encouraged again to see that the Lord God, as always, has a plan for each experience, a reason for each season.

3 main things were eating at me when I left Nebraska at the beginning of July, and left me feeling discouraged. The first was that a little bit of security in my job was pulled out of under my feet. I had been looking forward to having a very ideal work schedule for this coming school year, but because I needed to change my job status to "seasonal/substitute" in order to come home for a month, I unwittingly opened up the door for changes beyond my control. I now am indefinitely a substitute and my schedule is pretty much always up in the air. I'm hoping this will not always be the case, but for now it's where I'm at.

I was also discouraged that after 11 months in Nebraska, I had built few meaningful friendships. That isn't to say I haven't made any friends whatsoever. I have, and I really enjoy my friends. But I had been living quite spoiled in PA with having a Bible study group who enjoys fervently studying the Holy Scriptures as much as I do, a Sunday School class that spends as much time praying for each other on a Sunday morning as we spend studying and applying God's Word to our common areas of daily living, an accountability group with whom I can be totally open and vulnerable and who actually keeps up with each other throughout the week with encouragement, and a ministry continually crossing my path with a contagious passion for discipleship and bringing hearts to redemption through Christ. It's not often you plug into a community like that, to that extent, overnight. It takes time. And I knew it would, but I thought after a year I would be a lot closer than I am today.

The third discouragement was that I came back from Scotland last August feeling so in-tune with God's Spirit, so excited to get in His Word, and so excited to share Him with others - and then I rapidly slid into a spiritual drought upon moving to Nebraska. I lost it all. I then slowly began an uphill journey towards restoring intimacy with my Lord. I know His mercies are new every morning and He is quick to cover us with His grace, but I struggled to give Him my whole heart and even to desire to get tuned in again.

So when I got back home to PA this summer, I was feeling a little more worn than when I left last summer. I was wrestling with frustration with my job and bitterness towards God for not providing the friends I wanted and [felt I] needed in order to be restored in my walk with Him. I prayed, "Lord, please just give me a little understanding. I just need a glimpse of why things are the way they are." 

He does answer prayer, y'know.

Processing all of this with my friends while in PA, I see now how I can be thankful for each season of this past year and how each discouragement has its blessing. Especially as I continue to consider foreign missions as part of my future, I can see how each of these experiences prepares me for that field. My job is with a state agency that provides services for individuals with developmental disabilities and I am thankful for the opportunity to learn how to be a clear communicator with people who have different comprehension styles. I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn how to work with a government agency and develop a little more realistic expectations of them. Also so many missionaries have communicated to me that one of the hardest parts of their first year in missions was the unexpected experience of great loneliness or isolation - So I am also thankful for this season of mild loneliness to teach me how to depend on God first and to be intentional about building meaningful relationships rather than just expecting them to be dropped in my lap. I am thankful for the experience of a more uphill faith than I've previously ever experienced. I am learning to rest in God with endurance and perseverance at the same time.

He's looking out for me.

It's so great to be able to look at my un-ideal circumstances right in the eye and say - thank you Lord for these. I praise you, God, for these. And walk through this valley with joy.

Here's a few pictures from the last few months. I'm terrible at remembering I have a camera, but I did manage to take a few shots:)

Writing down the state license plates we saw while we drove from NE to PA - we found Hawaii AND Alaska!!!!

My favorite robot - my nephew Eliam. He wore this bucket on his head and walked through the kitchen saying mechanically, "I am a robot. I am robot. I am a robot...."

Got my official UNMC polo while I was in PA!

I forgot how much I loved this beautiful Pennsylvania landscape

Rolling hills much? Took these photos on the way to 3 days of camp with DRAMA Ministry which was more than epic:)

Made it to Longwood Gardens for the first time in my life! SO beautiful! and even better getting to explore it with a sweet friend:)

More Longwood Gardens

The fountain show at Longwood Gardens

Made it up to the Reading Pagoda with Hannah P from Wyoming and Amy W from Scotland!

The Pagoda

Great view of the city of Reading

Checked out Goggle Works for the first time. Really cool glass blowing workshop, ceramic workshop, wood working workshop, and many many art exhibits

Loved spending more time with this adorable newborn face!

I knew I was back in the midwest again when I could finally see 120 miles in every direction

Excited to be back in this beautiful scenery and starting my next phase of nursing school at UNMC!

Thanks for reading!